Jesus wants to include everyone. But, He has standards. By following Him, as a spiritual leader, you will be slowly molded toward those standards. And, this means that some people will decide they don’t want to hang around you. However, some will. Some will really help you a lot, in fact. The last group are true friends.
Sometimes, His standards are easy. Parenting, for instance, means not always getting to do what you want. So, for example, if a child is in the hospital, it should be easy to give up something special; like when my uncle gave up a chance to play golf with the legendary Arnold Palmer. Even a friend who is only halfway decent will understand that, and accept that a person can’t spend time with them.
A really good friend, of course, will be by that father’s side if he needs, and give him any help he might need. This is why it’s easy to call Jesus our friend. He is there for us through every hurt, every joy, every sorrow.
Job had people who he thought were his friends. They weren’t enemies, but, they also didn’t do a great job as friends, either. They rushed to be by his side when his world came tumbling down. However, they then started to put all the blame on him! Bad things happen to good people. They don’t always come because of sin. That is one of the main lessons of the Book of Job. Another is, friends don’t always say the right thing.
Job provides a great example of how to treat those who won’t accept that you are needed as a spiritual leader. He didn’t berate his friends. He did defend himself. He told his friends they were wrong. He said he wasn’t hiding any sin from God. And, he wasn’t. But, he didn’t treat his friends mean when he corrected them. He let God be the one to scold them; which He does, in the end.
They weren’t the most mature people on the planet, to put it mildly. They were friends. They’re not the best kind to put on your team. But, they worshipped God, at a time when most of the world had slipped into idolatry. They were a lot better than the “hangers on” who simply use a person for selfish reasons.
This is the kind you need to be very careful of; they are not true friends. True friends will at least sympathize with you and understand when you have to back out of plans to help your siblings or whomever. They might say dumb stuff, like Job’s friends. But, at least they won’t be mean like the prodigal son’s friends.
In case you don’t know, the prodigal son demanded his share of his father’s money before his father died. Then, he ran off and blew it all on parties and stuff. He had lots of people act like friends when he had money. Just like some people have lots of people around them when they act sinful today. But, once the prodigal son’s money dried up, those people left him. They weren’t friends, were they? If they were friends, they would have supported him when he went broke.
Thankfully, this parable of Jesus’ has a happy ending. The son realized he’d been wrong. He went back to his father and offered to live as a hired servant. He realized that he didn’t deserve his father’s mercy, because of how he’d acted. And yet, his father hugged him and welcomed him home. He even threw a big party to celebrate the fact that his son, who he’d thought to be lost, was found once more!
It hurts a lot when the people we think are friends betray us. But, the right way to live is not sinful, riotous living. And, anyone who insists you must live that way is not a true friend. They don’t accept you for who you are; a person who wants to live for God.
Hopefully, all those you consider friends won’t be like that. If they are, that’s when you need to find some true friends.
True friends are out there, though. Friends who will not only listen, but help, you as a spiritual leader. Those are the ones you can build a team around. Yes, the ones like Job’s friends can be helpful. They did sit in silence, just staying there with Job, for a while as he mourned all his losses. But, you want more than that. You want true friends, who will help you as you follow God and lead others to do the same..
