On the other side of that coin, don’t wait till they become like Hosea’s wife before realizing that the person lacks commitment. And, you certainly should never be like Hosea’s wife, and just leave everyone. Hosea, on the other hand, is a great example of the type of love you should show to wayward members of your family.
A very short look at the first three chapters of Hosea may help. First, some say that the entire section alludes to Israel, and that Hosea was not told to marry a prostitute. The woman and children have specific names. God say, “Take unto thee a wife.” (Hosea 1:2) Phrases such as “the word of the Lord” – not “the vision” - and “he went” also imply it’s not just a vision. Chapter three is questioned by more, but given God’s character, and how God promises to take Israel back, it seems to me plain that Hosea redeemed his wife. He does so with the same love God has. And, he is told to love her, not marry her; as if they were still married. (Hosea 3:1) This is really similar – except for not knowing more details of Gomer’s life – to the parable of the Prodigal Son.
You may be thinking, “I’d love to see a wholesome, God-honoring movie based on it. But, how does it relate to commitment, besides the obvious?” We can apply this to our relationships by looking at the fruits of others.
We should never use a person’s looks, the way they talk, or anything physical. When the prophet Samuel was told to find a new king for Israel, he wanted to pick the best looking one of Jesse’s sons. But, God said “no.” He told Samuel, “Man looketh on the outward appearance, but God looketh on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) He said to anoint David, a ruddy-looking youth, but a man after God’s own heart.
We should look at the heart, and the fruits of that heart. A person can say they are really committed. For all we know, Hosea’s wife promised this at first, too. She clearly stayed with him for a while, as they had three children. But, usually, a person’s heart will show long before that. Whether it’s commitment to helping you with some small project or marriage, you can tell a person by the way they act. And, you will know there are problems when you can tell a lack of commitment. That is why you shouldn’t give your heart away to someone too fast. You need months to see a person’s ins and outs, before you even get serious. Yes, marriages used to come faster, but back then, people had grown up with each other. You knew the person’s ins and outs better. Although, it still wasn’t a great idea before age twenty.
At the same time, when someone has failed in their commitment, they shouldn’t just be tossed aside. You should never let yourself be walked all over, by a person who is not committed to you. However, once you are in a family relationship, you should be willing to accept that person back in a spirit of love. Can it take a long while to build that trust? Of course. This is why you must keep lines of communication open, and everyone should do lots of listening, not just talking.
For instance, let’s say that you advise a younger sibling not to go to a party that you fear will have lots of problems, because there is no adult supervision. Let’s say you have talked a lot before about feelings, and goals, and that sibling has been very honest with you about everything else. If that sibling goes to the party anyway, and is humble about it, you will be likely to trust them again a lot faster than if you had never had such communication, right? Of course, Trust has been built up.
Sometimes, of course, trust takes a long time to bild back up. But, that’s why it doesn’t pay, if you’re not married, to go back to a person who has been cheating on you a lot. However, you must have the guts/manhood/whatever you call it to just let that person go and not become bitter or angry. Forgiveness doesn’t mean always taking them back. Sometimes, forgiveness means letting them go, and praying that they come to their senses and follow the Lord later. After all, the prodigal son – and Hosea’s wife – already had that family bond of unconditional love.
Whatever you do, though, you must resist the urge to fight back. Resisting that urge is what meekness is all about. And, it’s the meek who shall inherit the earth.
